My lovers have always taken from me
And I have always wanted to be taken from
Take from me
I kissed a fella and I didn’t particularly like it
But he did
So we went on kissing awhile
(because I didn’t particularly not like it either)
And the first time I was raped
I was too young to know what it was
My dad’s hairy arms on either side of me
Like the legs of a giant spider
And the first time I fell in love
I didn’t understand that love is a gamble
That people fall out of love
(because I never did)
My lovers have always loved me
And I have always wanted to be loved
Love me
There were times when I loved and times when I lusted
And most times both or at least one
Were enough
And looking back I think there is only one
Lover I treated unfairly
Oh, and also my wife
(who is no longer my wife)
Then a little bird flew into my branches
And whispered something about kindness
Something about gentleness
Something about equality
And I learned about a love that asks questions when it’s uncertain
That shares feelings that are uncomfortable
And that understands that vulnerability
Is so much more than nakedness
I haven’t always loved well
Although I have always loved at least as sincerely
As a person with borderline personality disorder
(I feel! I feel! I feel!)
But today I love
And am loved
Contentedly