in Failure

For the Bear

Over the last few years, I had someone lovely and unexpected come into my life — I nicknamed him ‘the Bear’.  There have been several rough patches during these years and always the Bear was there for me.  At my lowest moments, he would come and sit silently with me… just letting me know I was loved.  When I broke my ankle, he would help me to and from the bathroom.  When I was returning from a long and stressful day at work, he would often meet me afterwards with joy and affection.  When my wife was away visiting family, he always helped me pass the time.
I told him everything; we played, we fought, we laughed, we cried.  Through it all, all he ever asked was to love and to be loved.
Then about two weeks ago, the Bear started getting sick.  He got worse and worse, and late one night last week, I had to rush him to the emergency hospital because he was in a lot of pain.  I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I knew I wanted to be there for him… after everything he had helped me through, I was going to make sure that I was there for him to help him through.
But I couldn’t be there for him… and my friend died that night.  Before he passed away, I held him in my arms and cried so hard that no sound could come out.  I said goodbye, I said I loved him, I said I was sorry… and then he was gone.  I think the last pieces holding together my slowly breaking heart gave out that night.
So long, Bear, you were beautiful and full of love.  I’ll miss you buddy.  Life won’t be the same without you.

The Bear

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  1. What a beautiful homage. Losing an animal hurts quite differently than anything else.
    What a beautiful picture of him.

  2. 3 1/2 years ago I owned a kitten for only 4 weeks. I still can’t think of her without feeling a shocking amount of pain and sorrow and tightness in my chest and throat:
    In fact, I was in complete disbelief when I discovered a few minutes ago that this occurred 3 1/2 years ago already!
    I wish I didn’t know what you feel like right now.

  3. I got a text from my sister on Tuesday last week.
    Our dog died. I’m not in the same state and won’t be for 3 more weeks. I wish I could have said goodbye.